I’m going to tell you the different types of Ghanaians who write exams;
1) Over Achiever: these are the most annoying exam writers ever. They are the people who ask for more answer booklets when you are still on the second or third sheet.
They are those who whip out calculators and start punching in figures when you didn’t even know there was a question that demanded the use of a calculator. They smile and give each other knowing looks when the paper starts and they never ever bomb a paper, if it rocked everyone, they are a part of the minority that’s getting an A.
2) Shadows aka Copycats: these people have no idea what is going on, they have the equipment but don’t know what to do with them. The do everything the Over Achiever does, when a calculator is whipped out, they take theirs too, and just punch in random numbers till the OA puts theirs down. They seem to know what they are doing but most of the time, their booklet just has a lot empty spaces, sort of like brandy’s South African concert.
3) Giraffes: these people are those who spend half of the exam time craning their necks to see what someone else is doing, you wonder if they ever study. They are always asking “What are the answers from number one to ten” if it’s a multiple choice exam or “turn your paper and let me see” if it’s written. They do no independent work and are proud of it. And they end up getting good grades because believe it or not they are always seated next to the Over Achievers.
4) Flirts: these people are everywhere; they are usually a mix between a giraffe and hotness. They don’t stress themselves out like the normal giraffes do in an exam trying hard not to get caught. No, that’s too basic for them. They flirt their way to success. These are the guys who “run” female invigilators and the girls who always have their mammalian glands (that’s breast for those who don’t know) pouring out of their clothes. They are master multi-taskers, distracting an invigilator with their words or bodies and doing their “group work” all at the same time. These people deserve gold medals, citations, in fact, stop reading for a moment and just give them a round of applause *standing up and clapping slowly*
5) God’s Time is the best aka God dey: these are the people who didn’t study, can’t join the ranks of the giraffes because they are sitting with people just like them and aren’t hot enough to join the flirts, get rocked by the paper and are like the first to leave the exam hall. They come out quoting bible verses and remind you of miraculous incidents in the bible or quickly change the topic when the questions come up for “after exam discussion”. They become a whole new person during the exam period, calling upon the name of God and sending you spiritual whatsapp messages, making you question how well you know them. Once the exams end though, they are back in the club, popping, locking and dropping it like no one’s business. The process is repeated when the results are released though (that’s another post)
6) Long Distance: these are the people who seek answers far across the hall, distance is not a problem to them. They don’t care how far you go, they will follow, they will send you notes, whisper your name, even use their own version of sign language and Morse code. They are also those who get caught first too, let’s face it, Long Distance doesn’t last.
So this post is just a little observation I made after spending many a time in an exam hall, don’t ask me where I fit in though, it’s a secret. *wink*
